It’s not they, it’s I

They cheated, which is why we didn’t win!

They didn’t tell me, which is why it was never done.

They didn’t do their job, which is why the rest wasn’t done either.

At what point do we stop looking at what “they” did or didn’t do and instead look inward at what I did or didn’t do.

If I feel someone took advantage of me, it’s only because I allowed them to do so.

If I didn’t get all of the information, it’s because I didn’t insist upon it.

If I didn’t lead people in the correct direction it’s no ones fault by my own.

When people stop blaming others and start taking responsibility for themselves, everyone will be more successful!

Have a great day!


If you are anonymous, you are irrelevant to me

One of the “great” things about the Internet is it allows people to communicate while remaining anonymous. People can post on forums or blogs using fictitious names, send emails that don’t reveal their identity or create entire web sites without saying who they are.

Over the course of a week, over 100,000 email newsletters go out with my name on it (most are soccer related from Not only is my name in the domain (just as it is for but I sign every newsletter the same way and make it easy to contact me. A large majority of the emails I receive are positive or are questions but I do receive the occasional negative emails and I’m fine with that. However, if someone wants me to take their comments seriously, whether they are positive comments or negative ones, they need to identify themselves.

An email saying they disagree (or agree) with me that doesn’t have a name connected to it (for example from and signed ‘coach’) doesn’t carry much weight. How difficult is it to put your real name on an email? If you are too embarrassed to sign your name, you shouldn’t be sending the email in the first place.

A comment on a forum or blog that is signed ‘unhappy person’ doesn’t mean much to me at all.

If you don’t identify yourself you are losing a great deal of credibility in your work. In short, at least in my case, if you are anonymous you are irrelevant to me!

Have a great day!


Why do some people expect to win and others expect to lose?

A week and a half ago, the NCAA Division 1 womens soccer championships were concluded. The finals were UNC vs Notre Dame. Notre Dame went into the match undefeated and had already beaten UNC once this year. Notre Dame scored 17 seconds into the match. Many teams, in UNC’s position, would have panicked. Instead, UNC kept to their game plan and went on to score two goals and win the championship.

Last year, Penn State played Stanford in the NCAA Division 1 womens volleyball finals. Penn State went up two games to zero and then Stanford came back to win the next two games. It looked like Stanford had all of the momentum and many teams, in Penn States situation, would have panicked and lost the last game. Instead, Penn State came back to win the fifth game and the championship.

Why do some organizations succeed when facing adversity and others fail?

Why does it seem some people look for ways to succeed while others look for ways to fail?

A very successful coach (who is a reader of this blog but who I didn’t ask for permission to quote him so will leave it at that) answered this with “because they are accustomed to winning – culture”

Have you created a winning culture around you? Even if you haven’t been ‘successful’ in the past, can you act the part? In football, some coaches discourage their players from celebrations in the end zone because they want the players to “act like they have been their before”.

There is a great quote “If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can’t, you’re right” by Henry Ford. The attitude and belief a person or group has, when under adversity will directly effect their success or failure.

Have you created a culture of success around you>

Have a great day!


When did manners go out of style?

Is it really that difficult to say “thank you”?

If a person working at a company that is NOT a client asks how to do something and my response saves them $1000, is it unreasonable to expect an email back acknowledging they have received this help and thanking me for it?

When a server at a restaurant brings a drink refill, is it that difficult to acknowledge them and say thank you?

When walking into a mall, is it that difficult to hold the door open for the person behind you?

If you request a proposal from a company, is it unreasonable for them to expect acknowledgment that you received it?

Do the words “please” and “may I” cost more to use and if not, why don’t people use them?

In short, when did manners go out of style and just as importantly, WHY/

Have a great day!


The Greater Good

People are constantly forced to make the decision of whether they should do what is best for themselves or should they do what is best for the greater good.

An example of this would be the business person who minimizes costs as much as possible in order to show a greater profit. This might allow this person to get a larger bonus or to get a better job with a different company but it might be done at the expense of research and development so while the short terms gain might appear wonderful, it’s done at the expense of the long term health of the organization.

Another example would be the college coach who cheats to win games and then leaves for another job only to have the previous institution penalized for his actions. In this case, the coach would have forsaken the greater good for short term personal gains.

When you make decisions, do you think only of yourself or are you also taking into consideration the greater good?

Have a great day!