Stress is Stress

One of the mistakes people make is they assume that everyone handles stress the same way. We look at others and wonder why they let such small things cause them stress when it seems they should be able to handle things much better.

Business executives might be making multi-million dollar decisions and not find it too terribly stressful so when they hear others stressing out over much smaller issues they don’t get understand what the big deal is

College soccer coaches might be making travel arrangements for their team for the entire season so when they hear a player saying she is stressed out over a quiz for a class.

An attorney might be comfortable arguing a case in front of the state supreme court so find it unusual that a daughter is stressed out over making a presentation in front of her class.

The thing that people have to understand is while different people feel stress over different issues, regardless of the cause of the stress, stress is stress. Whether it’s from speaking in front of 50,000 people or 5 people, if one feels stress, it’s a big issue to them and should not be discounted by others.

When you are around others who are experiencing stress, rather than telling them to relax because it’s not a big deal, it’s important to understand it is a big deal to them and being told to relax doesn’t help at all. Instead, try to help them figure out why this causes them stress and then how they can overcome this.

Remember, it doesn’t matter whether you think something should be stressful or not, if someone else finds it stressful it’s stressful to them and should not be ignored or discounted in any way.

Have a great day!

Lawrence

The Saturation Point

There is a wonderful book titled “The Tipping Point” by Malcolm Gladwell (http://www.gladwell.com/tippingpoint/index.html) which discusses how little things can make a big difference. Rather than try to explain the thought behind the book, I would strongly recommend everyone read this book.

While The Tipping Point discusses how change can happen quite quickly and as a result of what might appear to be a small thing, the opposite would be The Saturation Point

We have all experienced the saturation point. It’s when you are told to do the same thing over and over and finally, you get to the point where you end up NOT doing anything because you got so fed up with hearing it.

As children we all experienced the repeated calling by a parent “clean your room, did you clean your room yet?” You hear it so many times that finally you go out of your way to NOT clean your room.

In a work place, people are repeatedly told how important something is to finish yet somehow they forget to do it. Why is that? It’s because they got to the saturation point.

There are soccer coaches who yell all the time during games. In their mind, they are helping the players on the field but in reality, the players are ignoring them (or even worse, are doing the opposite) because they hit the saturation point

There is a fine line between emphasizing the importance of a matter and crossing the saturation point. The person who is about to cross the saturation point should be able to read the non verbal clues of the recipient but unfortunately, most who cross that point, aren’t aware the possibility exists.

Once you have crossed the saturation point, it’s extremely difficult to reverse yourself. Be patient, be aware and be willing to apologize.

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Have a great day!

Lawrence

ME vs I vs We

When dealing with a group, there are three types of people.

* Me
* I
* We

The “me” person doesn’t care about the group at all. All they care about is “me”. If they are on a soccer team and they score 2 goals and the team loses 3-2, they are alright with that result because they scored their goals so they will get the recognition they believe they so rightly deserve (at least in their mind). If they are part of a business group preparing for a presentation, if they get their part of the presentation done, they are satisfied because they did their job.

The “I” person cares about the group but takes on so much responsibility that it’s too the detriment of the group. This person works long hours trying to finish the entire presentation because they truly believe it’s in the groups best interest for them to do alone. In basketball, while the “me” person is happy scoring 20 points an losing, the “I” person wants to take the last shot of the game, not for the recognition but because they think it’s the best chance for the team (regardless of the possibility someone might be wide open under the basket).

The “we” person realizes that the group can accomplish more working together than any individual can working apart. Using the basketball example, the “we” player might have the ball near the end of the game but he will draw two defenders and then pass the ball to the open teammate for the game winning shot.

The “me” player thinks “it’s all about me”. The “I” player thinks “I will do it for the team” and the “we” player thinks “we can do it together”/

Are you a “me”, “I, or a “we” person?

Have a great day!

Lawrence

Summary

In the last blog post, I wrote about creating an agenda for all gatherings (in person or virtual). This will make these gatherings much more efficient and effective. However, even when there is agenda and the gathering is run in an efficient manner, there still needs to be the second part which is the summary.

Too often, people leave a meeting and while they all heard the same thing, they might be leaving with different understandings. Because of this, it’s extremely important to have a summation following up the meeting to make sure everyone is on the same page.

This would be a simple review of what was discussed and a review of any agreed upon follow up.

By taking this simple step, it avoids confusion, reinforces what was decided and allows for a natural progression into the future.

Take the time to do a summary and see how much smoother things go for you

Have a great day!

Lawrence

Problem Solving 101

Problem Solving 101

1. Admit there is a problem
2. Accept you want to do something to fix the problem
3. Define the problem
4. Create alternative solutions
5. Establish criteria for selection the solution
6. Choose the solution
7. Plan how you will implement this solution
8. Execute the solution
9. Reassess the situation

The process of problem solving is actually quite simple. The problem is, if you skip some steps, chances are you wont be as successful as you should be

Have a great day!

Lawrence