Here is why people don’t tell you what they are really thinking

Most people claim they would like to be told what others are really thinking.

They ask questions such as:

How did you like my presentation?
Does this shirt make my look fat?
Did what I say make sense?

The problem is, the first time someone tells you what they are really thinking and you get defensive you will probably never get a truly honest response from them again.

As an example:

Presenter: “How did you like my presentation?
Friend: “Honestly, I thought it was well done but the ending was a bit ‘flat’”
Presenter: “What do you mean flat, I spent 3 days on that, it was perfect”
Presenter: “Did my shirt make me look fat?”
Friend: “No, it made you look great”

By being defensive towards the first answer, it pretty much guaranteed the second answer was going to be what the presenter wanted to hear and not necessarily the truth.

In short, if you want people to tell you what they really are thinking and feeling, you must be able to accept it from the very beginning. The first time you become overly defensive (and remember, it’s not YOUR definition of overly defensive, it’s the people making the judgment) you will most likely never received another truly honest opinion

Just something to think about

Have a great day!

Lawrence

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