Person A speaks. Person B partially listens and partially plans to refute Person A’s claims. Person B makes his argument and Person A plans his rebuttal.
What is accomplished? Possibly a lively argument
What isn’t accomplished? True learning as both Person A and Person B are so intent on formulating their response they aren’t making the effort needed to truly listen to what was being said by the other.
The next time someone is talking to you, truly listen to what they have to say. When they are done, take a moment to think about your reply. Your reply might not be as quick as you would like but you will find you will learn a great deal more by fully listening to the other person.
The interesting thing about giving your full attention to a person when they speak and then taking a moment to formulate a response is while you might feel the other person will think less of you for having the delay in response, the truth is, most people, when they encounter this type of a delay, interpret it as someone being a deep thinker. This means, not only will you learn more, you will also be perceived as being more of a thinker. It’s a true win/win!
Have a great day!